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News At A Glance: Beyonce, “New” Janet, PCD 3, Luda & Trey & More!

News At A Glance: Beyonce, “New” Janet, PCD 3, Luda & Trey & More!

on May 28 in BeyonceHip HopJanet JacksonLily AllenLudacrisPassport TunesPopPussycat DollsTrey SongzVideos

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Beyonce - “Halo” (Video - Unreleased Version)
The conspiracy theorist in me can’t help believe that anytime unreleased Beyonce material mysteriously “leaks” onto the internet, it is actually a very deliberate attempt to steal someone’s shine.  I’m probably wrong, but it does cross my mind every.single.time.  Anyways, yet another B. vid popped up last week, this time its alternate version of “Halo”.  Yes, the lighting to make the love scenes look like a hand soap commercial are still there, but now there is a whole subplot where love interest Michael Ealy is mauled by dogs which La Knowles happens upon.  Was she responsible for the canine attack?  Is he dead?  What the heck is going on here?  While I think this melodramatic version is much better that the boring version that was released, its posing too many questions and during a week where I just said goodbye to Lost, I don’t think I can handle another situation full of unanswered riddles… too soon, too soon!

Ludacris featuring Trey Songz - “Sex Room” (Video)
Yeah, I’m officially over the whole Trey Songz sex machine schtick… its sooo played out to me, but whatever sells ringtones I guess.  Luda revisits his freaky mack daddy persona and teams up with Mr. Songz at the Palms in Las Vegas so that they can get their smash on… separately, of course.  Its basically a maxi-commercial for the hotel and a cautionary tale for groupies with short term memories—- banging your favorite rapper will have you wakin’ up with amnesia and a drawn on goatee!  And aside from ‘Cris looking like “tha man” cuz its suggested at the end of the video that he slept with the four(!) confused ladies on the couch, how good is his pipe game if none of his orgy participants can remember any of it?

New Pussycat Doll Line-Up Revealed
In a week where Nicole was crowned the Dancing With The Stars champion and also released a new solo single (they’re still trying to make that happen!), we also get the first pic of the new back-up hot pants wearers in PCD.  One of them is former So You Think You Can Dance contestant Kherrington, and the Asian chick was one of Gwen’s Harajuku Girls during that whole “Hollaback” era.  The original Dolls got tired of being window dressing and bounced so management basically hired replacements that looked just like them so that fine would be none the wiser?  I guess the message trying to be sent is that all the girls who aren’t Nicole don’t matter and can be changed at will.  Speakin of which, no one is really checking for Nicole unless there are four or five half-dressed chicks shaking behind her so can just stop with all this solo business?

Monrose - “Like A Lady” (Video)
Its funny cuz if I happen to like just one song by an artist, I tend to keep any ear out for the rest of their output from then on, even if it tends to be mostly “meh” material and such is the case with German pop girl group Monrose.  They rocked my iPod a couple of years ago with their smash (in my eyes) hit “Hot Summer” and the dope choreo that the track inspired (in the interest of full disclosure, the choreo is admittedly the work of one of my BFFs, but its still dope, no?)  Anyways, the ladies have yet to capture my attention they way the did with the “Summer” song, but here they are still on their grind with their latest, “Like A Lady”.  The video is a disco ball shoulder padded, goofy space suited, trannylicious mess of geometric shapes and banquet hall lighting fixtures and its just the kind of Eurotrash clip that would be brilliant if you saw it at 5am after a mind altering night of clubbing.

Janet On “The Graham Norton Show” - Parts 2, 3, 4
Fresh from an appearance on the American Idol finale where some fans are declaring “Janet’s back!” whereas I’m simply declaring “Janet’s GOT back!”, La Jackson also surfaces on the internet this week in posted clips of her appearance on UK chatfest The Graham Norton Show.  Jan was over in England last week with Tyler Perry on her promo grind for Why Did I Get Married Too?  While she was definitely overshadowed by the host, the comedian that was seated on the couch with her, and Tyler’s side eye-worthy attempts at flirting, it was nice to seen Jan look fab with the new ‘do and seemingly good, albeit soft-spoken, spirits.  Be forewarned though, the segments all run kinda long.  And when you’re done with that be sure to check for…

Janet Jackson - “Ruff” (Snippet)
This is reportedly a leftover track from the Damita Jo album.  Its funny cuz between this and the handful of Rich Harrison tracks (Pops Up, Speed It Up, What Can I Say?, Clap Your Hands) that leaked a few years ago, I’m kinda thinkin’ she may have left the best songs off of the album.  Jan coos over the N.O.R.E “Superthug” beat so if your main beef with Jan is that “she’s always whispering” and “its usually about sex”, then ya might wanna skip past this one.

Human Life - “In It Together” (Video)
As far as dance (music) videos go, this one is kinda interesting.  An emo kid starts off in a tank top and skinny jeans and while on his way to a warehouse party, meets a Queen Amidala/“Rain”-era Missy hybrid who blesses him with some magic oversized Mardi Gras beads.  Continuing oh his hurried journey, he magically finds himself gradually outfitted in a feathered headdress, glittery face paint and tribal body paint.  By the time he arrives, the party is already hoppin’ with a colorful cast of club kids and fashion types rocking paper mache, crayola body suits, rope, and… a cooling fan protective gate.  Yes, it does indeed look like “Gaga: The Musical!”, but I’m gonna give these kids credit for comin’ up with this ish on their own.

Professor Green featuring Lily Green - “Just Be Good To Green” (Video)
Things were going just fine ‘til that cornball opened his mouth and started to rap.  Everybody went to school/knows a tragic white boy who takes his Eminem/2Pac obession to that uncomfortable place, right?... well picture that guy with a wacky British accent and absolutely no skills and you’ve got Professor Green.  Lilly Allen plays “the hook girl” and sings an old S.O.S Band song while this a$$hat stumbles into what looks like an otherwise perfectly nice photo shoot and ruins it all with mumbled “wassup, gov’nuh?” nonsense.  I’m posting it cuz the effects and the visuals were kinda cool, but do yourself a favor and watch this baby with the sound off!

 

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